The Breakdown Before The Breakthrough
“Selfcare is not selfish, we all know how hard it is to serve from an empty cup”
One day, at 26 years of age, I woke up as a health professional who had lost his health.
All the accolades, continued learning, bachelors and master’s degree
couldn’t save me from how I felt in this moment. My knowledge had failed me, and I had failed to listen to my body’s innate wisdom. I had failed to acknowledge its natural intelligence hidden in the depth of my genetic blueprint. I had failed to see the impact of my lifestyle choices. My ego had led me to be in a state of disharmony. Quite simply, I had pushed myself too far. I was stressed, tired, depleted, dysfunctional, and depressed.
I thought I knew what to do. I was a health professional and leader in my industry and community. People looked to me for advice and support. Yet, in this moment I felt incongruent and lost. How could I help others if I couldn’t even help myself? All my dreams and passions came crashing to an abrupt halt.
This was a crisis point.
As I woke up on this dreary winter morning in my home town of Fremantle, Perth, I was already an hour late for work. I had slept through six consecutive wake-up reminder alarms, but I didn’t even try to get up. I couldn’t. I had no choice but to surrender to my body and soul’s need to rest. I was physically, mentally, emotionally, and biologically stuck. Exhausted. Depleted. Rock bottom had hit, and I was helpless to change it.
I felt as though nothing mattered anymore. How could I move forward if I didn’t have my health and a sense of well-being to move forward with? I was forced to realize the true value of my health; which was linked to every dream, aspiration, business, relationship, and lifestyle I had envisioned. Without my health, nothing else was possible. Dreams were useless to dream.
As I imagined being restricted from everything I loved doing, my heart sank. I was scared. A strong man on the outside, but a scared fearful child on the inside. I didn’t get how precious this gift of health was until I was on the brink of losing it.
Through my work, I had access to modern technology, scans, and an impressive network of experts with whom I worked, but no one could help me in this moment. It was up to me; something had to change. I had to change.
As I lay there, I remember asking myself three questions:
- Am I happy?
- Am I healthy?
- Am I connected?
Before answering, I took a breath and sunk deeply into these questions. My brain desperately tried to take charge and formulate clever answers, but the truth was too confronting for any mental gymnastics.
I answered a somber NO to all three questions.
I was almost a witness to my own situation. In my mind’s eye, I could see the dark circles under my eyes, the muscle loss, the poor posture, the loss of energy, the severe brain fog, the lack of mental clarity. All those signals and symptoms from my body were suddenly evident. Those aches, those pains, that digestive reflux, those intolerances to foods I once loved. All signs! But I was looking away.
It was as if had simply existed in a state of dullness over the past 12- months, or perhaps more. Everything was finally clear in this moment. I had chosen all of this.