HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM "OUT OF ALIGNMENT?"
Have you ever found yourself living a day that is so far away from the life you dreamed of, that it doesn't even seem possible to get to where you dreamed of going?
Do you find yourself being apathetic to the world and losing hope?
Perhaps you have found yourself in a job that is mind-numbing, working for an unconscious enterprise whose visions and values don't match your own.
Perhaps you find yourself running in circles, busy being busy. Only to find that you are no closer to your ideal day and lifestyle.
Maybe you even seem to keep attracting the same "toxic relationships" or even find yourself in environments that physically, mentally, and emotionally drain you every day.
Trying to serve from an empty cup... Trying to put the oxygen mask on others, before yourself.
Sound familiar?
Are we a victim of circumstance? Or have I chosen all of it?
Every day, each of us is playing a character in our own life play. When we are out of alignment we experience a mixture of the above and sometimes all of it at the same time. The solution we seek is harmony and flow.
If you answered YES to one or more of the questions above.
That's ok. It's normal to feel this way. It's simply a beautiful self-reflection on your life at this moment.
If you answered NO, that's great too! Keep going! You are on the right path.
Let's find out how we can help you find harmony and bliss between your internal and external world more often. Be mindful that it may require some courageous and even life-changing decisions, path pivots, and changes in daily actions/behaviors.
“Addiction, self-sabotage, procrastination, laziness, rage, chronic fatigue, and depression are all ways that we withhold our full participation in the program of life we are offered. When the conscious mind cannot find a reason to say no, the unconscious says no in its own way.” ― Charles Eisenstein
16 SIGNALS THAT I MAY BE OUT OF FLOW.
- Physical Aches & Pains: The physical body has a great way of reminding you of what you are neglecting. Irrespective of your best intentions.
- Signals and symptoms from your body; The body's 12 internal systems are sensitive to change. Maybe it's those digestive issues, that high blood pressure or even just a general fatigue and lack of energy to get through the day. Your internal systems have great mechanisms to remind you that your thoughts and actions are in disharmony.
- Prolonged Stress: Do you find yourself with a never-ending to-do list? Putting the needs of others before your own? Forgetting to put your own oxygen mask on? Forgetting to fill your own cup before serving the world around you?
- Emotional irregularity: Do you have those days where your emotions seem all over the place? Up, down, left, right? Happy one minute, angry and frustrated the next? Where the people closest to you find it hard to support you. One wrong word or action could be the catalyst for the next fight or disagreement.
- Boredom: Have you found yourself bored and uninspired? Seeking isolation and disconnection from the outside world? Succumbing to self-destructive behaviors that you know don't serve you or where you are going?
- Escapism: Have you found yourself wanting to just "reset it all?" Consuming more alcohol & seeking mind-altering substances in order to shift your thoughts or numb them completely?
- Eating More or Eating Less: Have you found yourself so busy and stressed that you forget to eat or don't eat at all? Have you found yourself so emotional that you eat a whole box of donuts, only to feel sick after it?
- Irregular Sleeping Patterns: Do you find it hard to get out of bed in the morning, but then find it hard to fall asleep at night, or sleep at all?
- People Around You Seem to Act Different: Our outer world is often a reflection of our inner world. When you smile, the world smiles back. When you are caught up in your mind and disconnected from the external reality, it's easy for people to misread your actions or misinterpret what you are saying. It feels like you can't say or do anything right. You may even find that your level of sensitivity and reactivity is high. You are not your resilient self.
- Outside Experiences Don't Go As Planned; Have you ever had "one of those days" where nothing goes right? Where do you feel like you just want to reset and start tomorrow fresh with new energy and intention?
- My Energy (Tired or Wired): Do you find yourself being so fatigued during the day that everyday tasks seem impossible to achieve, only to find yourself wide awake and alert long after you should be in bed? Looking for any solution to fall asleep.
- My Language: Do you find that your vibration of thoughts and words seems to be in the realm of guilt, blame, victimization, and self-loathing? Everything seems to be a problem. Rather than gratitude, love, acceptance, inner peace, and even complete surrender to the factors outside your control. Seeking solutions to everyday challenges.
- Breathing Patterns: Do you find that you feel tense in the chest or stomach, where your breathing patterns are shallow and your body feels tense?
- Unmotivated or Obsessed: Do you find it hard to get started each day and look for every reason to procrastinate? On the flip side, do you find yourself fixating and becoming obsessive on one thing, sweating the small stuff, rather than going with the flow of life's natural chaos?
- I can't hear your intuition and inner voice: That gut instinct, heart-based passion, that inner voice is being drowned out by the imposter in your mind. The negative bias seems to be shouting louder than that inner voice and your once positive mental attitude.
- I feel like I have lost myself along the way: Do you feel like you have been misaligned for so long that you don't even remember what it feels like to be happy? Where you are living in the bliss and harmony of your ideal life and living as the person you know you were born to be
Charles Eisenstein also asks us to consider this question:
“When have I manipulated others for my own advantage?" He answered by saying ....."When I notice myself doing it, usually it is when I am feeling insecure.”
3 WAYS TO GET BACK INTO ALIGNMENT & FLOW
- Aligned Internal compass = Purpose + Passion + Values + Unique Genius
- Aligned with a clear Future vision & True North.
- The end result is our character. Who we are at any moment.Being.
FIND PURPOSE With Simon Sinek, Charles Eisenstein & The 17 UN SDG'S
Simon Sinek eloquently shares that "true purpose is human. Regardless of WHAT we do in our lives, our WHY—our driving purpose, cause, or belief—never changes. Integrity is when our words and deeds are consistent with our intentions. Most of us live our lives by accident—we live as it happens. Fulfillment comes when we live our lives on purpose.
“The holistic acupuncturist and the sea turtle rescuer may not be able to explain the feeling, 'We are serving the same thing,' but they are. Both are in service to an emerging story of the People that is the defining mythology of a new kind of civilization.”― Charles Eisenstein,
To psychologists, the purpose is an abiding intention to achieve a long-term goal that is both personally meaningful and makes a positive mark on the world. The goals that foster a sense of purpose are ones that can potentially change the lives of other people, like launching an Organization, researching a disease, or teaching kids to read.
Our sense of purpose will change over the course of our lifetime. As we grapple with our identity as teens, settle into the responsibilities of adulthood, and make the shift to retirement, the research finds that our sense of purpose will naturally wax and wane.
Like happiness, the purpose is not a destination, but a journey and a practice. That means it’s accessible at any age if we’re willing to explore what matters to us and what kind of person we want to be—and act to become that person. If we’re able to revisit and renew our sense of purpose as we navigate milestones and transitions, suggests this research, then we can look forward to more satisfying, meaningful lives.
ONE: Which sustainable development goal are you most aligned with?
The 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development, adopted by all United Nations Member States in 2015, provides a shared blueprint for peace and prosperity for people and the planet, now and into the future.
At its heart are the 17 Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), which are an urgent call for action by all countries - developed and developing - in a global partnership. They recognize that ending poverty and other deprivations must go hand-in-hand with strategies that improve health and education, reduce inequality, and spur economic growth – all while tackling climate change and working to preserve our oceans and forests.
TWO: REMEMBER YOUR PASSIONS with Janet Atwood
Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood have inspired thousands to shape their lives by discovering their passions and living according to what matters most to them.
Passion is a desire that will bring about the greatest results in life.
As an example, I like to skateboard, but I don’t have the determination to push myself through broken bones and hospital visits. That’s why I’m not as good as I could be. I don’t have a passion for it.
Passion can push you through difficult times because you don’t care what it takes to become better. We all have the ability to create whatever kind of life we want. The secret to living the dream is hidden in our passions and what we do because of them.
However, Simon Sinek shares, “Passion alone can’t cut it. For passion to survive it needs structure. A why without a how has little probability of success.” We need a heart-spaced why with aligned thinking and action dynamic to live the life of our dreams in real-time.
Oprah Winfrey shares, "Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you." It's a feeling, not just a thought.
Nelson Mandela inspires you to go all in. "There is no passion to be found playing small--in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."
THREE: KNOW "THY" VALUES with Dr. John Demartini
Our values arise from and are therefore determined by your conscious or unconscious voids (what you perceive as most missing). What you perceive as the most missing (void) in your life, therefore, becomes what you perceive as most important (value). Your underlying private voids drive your overlying public values.
Your fulfillment means the filling of your perceptually empty voids. The hierarchy of your voids determines the hierarchy of your values. The hierarchy of your values determines how you perceive (what you selectively attend to) and how you act (what you selectively intend upon) in your world and therefore they determine your immediate destiny. Since your values change over time, your destiny, therefore, changes over time.
The summation of your series of destinies determines your evolving life journey. Your ultimate or relatively unchanging core value dictates your infinite journey the most. Your transient, changing, crusted hierarchy of values dictate your series of transient finite destinies.
The more important a value is – the higher it will be on your hierarchy of values and the more discipline and order you will have associated with it. The less important a value is – the lower it will be on your hierarchy of values and the less discipline and more disorder you have associated with it.
When you live according to your highest values you become inspired and awaken genius. When you live according to your lower values you require continuous outside motivation and you suppress your genius. Your present purpose or mission for life will reflect your present highest values.
FOUR: WORK FROM YOUR ZONE OF "GENIUS"
with Roger James Hamilton
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Albert Einstein
How would you define a genius?
An intellectual genius?
A person who has an exceptionally high intelligence quotient, typically above 140.
A creative genius? (Picasso, Jim Carrey)
Someone with an amazing mental or creative ability. Especially somebody who has demonstrated this by the creation of original work in science, music, art, life, and business.
A people genius? (Oprah Winfrey, Martin Luther King Jnr)
A person is considered as having a strong influence over others. Emotional intelligence.
A skilled genius? (Pele, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan)
Someone possessing extraordinary skill.
A spiritual genius? (Dalai Lama, Mahatma Gandi, Mother Theresa)
A supernatural being in human form, that can influence human & global affairs.
What about your unique genius?
A great natural ability (for a particular activity); strong disposition or inclination.
END RESULT: DEFINE YOUR CHARACTER
How we think, act and react when no one is watching.
I always remembered the principle my parents taught me throughout my years. The Principle: to treat the janitor the same as the CEO. The Principle meant that no matter where someone maybe today, you should never doubt where they will go tomorrow.
UCLA Basketball Coach John Wooden shares “The true test of a human's character is what they do when no one is watching.”
Abigail Van Buren shares that "the best index to a person's character is how they treat people who can't do them any good, and how they treat people who can't fight back.
Helen Keller shares that "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. "
Byron R. Pulsifer "Character is not something that you buy; it is not a commodity that can be bartered for; it is not a quality suited for only the rich and famous; rather, the character is built upon the foundational commitment of love, honesty, and compassion for others. "
Whatever definition aligns with your beliefs, we can all agree that Character is to live by the golden rule: This well-known maxim crops us again and again in the writings of different religious traditions:
In Confucianism, “what you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others”; in Judaism, “what is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow man”;
In Christianity, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”;
In Islam, “no one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself”; and so on.
At face value, the Golden Rule seems eminently intuitive; one does not need to be a theologian or moral philosopher in order to grasp this principle and to be liable to judgment according to their enactment of it. Whilst many aspects of morality are still up for debate and may vary across cultures, belief in mutuality seems to be more or less universal.
Mahatma Gandhi challenges you to question your beliefs and what you hold to be true. Is it your real truth, a borrowed truth or a belief system that has been imposed on you? If you can change your beliefs, you can change both your inner and outer world simultaneously.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
This means that we need to be mindful of what we tune into and believe to be true. Lao Tzu shares that you must “Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
Les Brown, reminds us that "in the end, it is the person you become, not the things you achieve, that is most important. "
Lastly and most importantly. When all else fails, Rumi reminds us to listen to the "voice", rather than the noise 'There's a voice that doesn't use words, listen.' When we tune in to our own innate wisdom. There is nothing to hide, nothing to regret, no one to blame, no one to compare with, no one to judge. Because our path truly becomes our own! This is the most exciting journey any of us could take! Go for it!
3 QUALITIES OF "TRUE" CHARACTER
- Moral Discipline
The one quality most associated with a character in the nineteenth century was self-mastery — the dominion of an individual over their impulses and desires, so that they were in control of themselves, and not the other way around. An individual of self-mastery embodies self-control and can direct their will and make their own choices, rather than being a slave to their base impulses.
2. Moral Attachment
Ralph Waldo Emerson’s definition of it as: “Moral order through the medium of individual nature.” This is to say that the choices every single person makes influence the world around him and that the existence of a virtuous society is predicated on the virtue of each of its individual members. Moral attachment means being committed to a set of higher ideals and to acting, and if need be, sacrificing, for the greater good of one’s community
3. Moral Autonomy
The character cannot develop in an environment in which ethical decisions are forced upon the individual. Character is a product of judgment, discretion, and choice — born from an individual's free agency. A decision that is coerced cannot be a moral decision, and thus cannot be a decision of character.
SUMMARY
When we find ourselves struggling in life, it may be worth considering whether we have become "out of alignment" with our values, passions and our true north. Questioning our chosen path can help us to determine if our thoughts, words, actions and habits are congruent with what we are trying to achieve and give us clues as to how we can move back into alignment with our life goals. To help, there are 16 signals (e.g. physical aches & pains, prolonged stress, emotional irregularity) to tell when we're out of alignment and it may require courageous life-changing decisions. To get back into alignment, we can focus on four areas: defining our internal compass (purpose, passion, values & unique genius); finding our true purpose; rediscovering our passions; knowing our values; and working in our zone of genius. It is also important to remain mindful of our character, beliefs, and to listen to our own inner voice. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own destiny.
- Determine if out of alignment by questioning our chosen path
- 16 signals (e.g. physical aches & pains, prolonged stress, emotional irregularity) to tell when out of alignment
- Focus on defining internal compass, purpose, passions, values and unique genius
- Remain mindful of our character, beliefs and inner voice over noise and fear.
- It takes 10 seconds of courge to DO, BE, ACT and REACT differently.
- Our true INTENTION, is our pattern of behviour. Mot our thoughts or words.
REFERENCES
This is directly referenced from the best-selling amazon SelfCare Book "Lifestyle Medicine For the People" by Rory Callaghan. If you would like to read more content like this. Grab the free online chapters of the book or a hard copy.
We have done our best to reference everyone’s expert opinions, peer-reviewed science, and original thoughts, all references available here and referenced in the text.
We also understand that most thoughts are not our own and there is a collective unconsciousness, unconsciousness, and universal mind stream of energy that is always at work. How are references are sorted and filtered is here
